MIA
“We’ll deliver it as soon as it turns up. I’ll need your name and a description of a few items inside the missing piece, please.” The office was cramped, papers stacked high, central air blasting from a vent overhead. The woman tapped her pen and looked past me at the line outside her door. What could I tell her? The purple strap-on would be easily recognizable; the matching fur nipple clips. ]
Moving to Tishomingo
My first night in Tish I found myself floating with the wind above downtown. I noticed the light had a certain gravity and expected a minor lensing effect. Maybe a portal opening, if I was lucky.
You Can’t Get to Heaven in a Miniskirt
Unless I stopped acting like a girl that flirts, I was doomed to stub my toe again and again ’til there was nothing but a bloody nub left. I’d never be a ballerina. And I wouldn’t get into heaven. It might seem extreme, and naive. But I was a 14-year-old hopeful ballerina who liked sci-fi and preferred trees to people.
Privatized
My favorite way to die is to stay alive as long as possible. You know that moment when your hair suddenly looks perfect, but you know that as soon as you step outside it’ll be ruined so maybe you never go outside again.
House Calls
Did I say I was anxious? Maybe I didn’t have to. After all, whether or not I am a seasoned psychiatrist, skilled in maintaining boundaries between my life and my work, there was a reality before us. A plague was at the gates, and we were both well aware of the fact.
Eileen’s Book of Jokes
I can never remember the one true deity’s proper name & several times I’ve avoided awkwardness by addressing him as “bucko” which makes me sound like the dad.